What I have learned about New Zealand "musings of a mad yank"

I have learned a lot of things about New Zealand want to share them.  First and foremost I feel safer driving here than anywhere in the world.  Despite driving on the left side of the road I find the kiwis to be the most courteous and respectful drivers in the world.  The only time I have been concerned is when our friend Joy is behind the wheel.


Random musings I have learned:


If you find yourself driving straight for more than a half mile.............you have left the road.
No shirt, no shoes, no problem.
Take your wife 15,000 miles and she will be impressed with the bathrooms.
If your wife can tell you where you are on the map.  She more than likely has it upside down.
If you seen a sign with a word you can't pronounce it is probably the next town.
Beyond every curve.......is another curve.
The distance between point A. and point B. is always twice as long.
The posted speed is not a target.
Every time you pass a truck on the grade up, it will be inevitably behind you on the down side.
Go North to get warm and South to cool down.
Hot on the left, cold on the right.
Spring is fall forward.  Fall is spring back.
XL is too small
A windshield without a chip is brand new.
If you see a car coming at you....make sure it is on the right.
A one way bridge goes both ways.
if you drive......drink.
New Zealand Green Lipped Mussels....don't have lips.
The more pockets your wife has in her knapsack, the longer it takes her to find anything.